"Ever wondered how your friends & family would react if they knew certain private things about you that you have kept from them for years?"
I asked this question earlier on my Facebook. Here's some of the feedback.
Rachel Humphrey: "Thankfully, that kind of honesty is allowed in my family and I don't feel the pressure to only show my perfect side that I used to. However, I've been doing a lot of thinking recently on how harmful it is to keep half of you hidden because you are afraid of the censure/disapproval etc you would receive if you were honest with people. Honesty is scary for both sides usually I think (imagine YOUR reaction if somebody really shocked you with something), but what do you really have relationally without being real?"
Me: "Very true. Honesty is allowed in my family as well but because of different "religious" or Christianity beliefs, one still might not be fully accepted. That is just my personal opinion. You'd probably hear differently from my family members. I learned a few years ago to be real and always hated when others, even myself at times were fake. Still, there are choices we make in our hearts years ago of who we are or want to be that we still keep silent about due to not wanting to loose relationships or be judged. Honesty can be scary for both sides, I agree with that. And have experienced both already. In answer to your question, I would think the answer is 'nothing.' Thank you for sharing your thoughts!"
Peter Baehr: "It really depends how you go about it. Sharing your struggles can be uplifting and bring family members closer. Sharing your failures, however, can seriously backfire. If people aren't part of the problem or the solution, then there's no need to bring them down. I guess it depends on your motive for doing that too. If it's to reconcile with people you care about, that's awesome. If it's self-serving, "getting it off my chest" by dumping volatile information out there, then no. I find it's better to change behavior than apologize for your feelings. "I want to invest more in our relationship" is going to go much farther than "I have to confess, I've always hated you." "
Holly Miller: "its definitely to be hoped that even if they don't approve, your family will still accept things about you even if they don't agree. Thats how mine is, at least :)"
Me: "Thank you, Peter for your thoughts as well. It has helped me think about what I wrote above in a different light. What if you want those that are closest to you to know about something about yourself because you don't want to be fake and want to just be real with them about who you really are? Even if it hurts them, shouldn't they still know about it? If it's shared with no pride or without an arrogant attitude and with only sincerity & a genuine heart, then isn't it ok to be open about it?"
Maria Shexnayder: "I will just answer 'yes' to your question. It's hard to divulge almost anything to my parents, since they are not really invested in who I am as a person, beyond what THEY want me to be. But there are certain things you should share and others you should keep to yourself. It is up to the individual to discern when they should be open and where they should be discreet. Everyone is different. :) Be yourself and don't let others opinions let you shy away from being your own person whatever that may be."
I liked everything everyone had to say and told them so. What are your thoughts to my first question at the top of this page?
